“Listeners, I do not know everything about Carlos, and he does not tell me everything. That is okay. We are not one person. How lonely that would be; a couple who has made themselves one so completely that they are once again alone. We are two people, separate, unique, and joined only where we choose to join. I don’t know what is his affiliation truly to the University of What It Is, perhaps I will never know. But I can know about the taste of food he has made me, or the feeling of his hand in mine, or the absence of his hand not in mine. I can feel the distance between us and I can know that that distance, viewed properly, is no distance at all.”—Cecil showing how its okay to have secrets (via genuinedeadpool)
If she did something wrong, she will make puppy eyes and put her fists on her cheeks, making it very hard for you to resist forgiving her.
It’s something astonishing to me that we live in year 2014 and yet articles such as this are still published, receiving criticism in spurts and yet overwhelming support overall, and still remains posted on a website as long as this one has.
The fetishization of Asian women is rampant, disgusting, and a lot of the fetishizers try to play it off as if these are good traits that Asian women should be “happy” are associated with them.
Heads up - There is such a thing as “loving racism” if that’s what you even want to call it. Moreso it’s some sexist garbage wrapped in racism, tangled in gender role propaganda.
They reduce women into one defined name - “Asian” - and then assign attributes that are demeaning and humilating at best.
"When you do something that makes her happy, she’s delightedly joyful, saying “yayyyyyyyy!”, clapping her hands together repeatedly like a little girl who just received her first birthday cake."Childish, child like, naive, innocent
"The way she shyly caresses your shoulder when she wants to talk to you instead of tapping it with insistence until you turn around. Her special feminine touch in those little day-to-day actions makes a man instantly curious and attracted to her"Obeying, obedient, “well-behaved”
"The way Asian girls move, the way they express themselves and even the way they dance are artful ways to attract men’s attention to their greatest physical asset: their face. Her scintillant eyes, through which her emotions pour out uncontrollably, will get your gaze stuck in them for a lot longer than you anticipated"Eternally youthful doll-like attributes, praised for unrealistic beauty ideals that no one can really achieve
"She listens to what you have to say and wait until you’re finished before speaking, never cutting you off in the middle of your stories to butt in with something about hers."Submissive; again obeying, obedient, well-behaved
"You will never be hungry again for the rest of your life if you decide to live with an Asian girl. Even if she’s tired and stressed from her own day and you told her you would order food for the evening to let her rest, you will come back home and be welcomed by the scent of a warm, freshly cooked dinner that could feed your entire family for a month."Housewife; her race inherently means that she is a caretaker, she lives to serve others, she conforms to daily rituals of feeding and cleaning and assumes a role of a domestic slave
This is a “writer” (using the term writer VERY loosely here) that writes incredibly misogynistic garbage, so much so that an article saturated in blatant racism and stereotypes such as this one is no real surprise. See:
Tell this piece of subhuman garbage that these kind of trash articles are not okay.
I know that Black creativity has saved your life many times before. I know, because I’ve seen it happen. I’ve listened as non-Black people in my communities raised on Hip Hop talked about how it was the only relatable, empowering culture they found that also educated and radicalized them as a youth. It was formational. I’ve watched people become politicized, shaping their new political identities after bell hooks, Audre Lorde, Assata Shakur, Angela Davis and Frantz Fanon. I’ve watched as folks become activist celebrities using radical ideas from Black Power and Civil Rights movements to shape programs that do not benefit Black people. I’ve watched as people make livings and loads of social capital off of DJing Black music, dancing, walking and dressing like Black people, selling the Black aesthetic to others. I’ve heard that friends use Nina Simone and Sade to sing them back from depression, Rihanna and D’Angelo to get them in the mood. So many people in my communities, lately, have been using Octavia Butler to renew their hope for radical futures. Without Black people, what would your lives be? You might be thinking, you know, it’s so much more complicated than all this, race is complex, we’re all part of the human family, etc., etc…
Black art is not free for all damaged souls. When Nina sang about strange fruit, she was talking about a lynching…of Black people. When Black rappers say Fuck the Police, they speak to a state system of lynching…Black people. Your pain and isolation, however real it may be, is not the same as being Black. Your self-adoption into hip hop and djembe drumming and spoken word, makes our art forms all about you. You, however well meaning, have stolen Black labour and invention and used it for your own purpose. It warps the medium and changes the message, the magic, the healing. From now on, consider how the cost of consuming, appropriating, regurgitating, and getting your life in multiple ways from Black art, Black culture, and Black peoples’ creative genius detrimentally impacts our lives. Being Black in an anti-black world means experiencing daily attacks that threaten our dignity, our happiness, our freedom, and often our lives; and in order to enjoy Black culture, you’re going to have to take action to help get these back.
But because Black people’s labour, language, intelligence, creativity, and survival arts have always been considered free for the taking, you probably didn’t feel ways about using it. You probably didn’t think twice. Black culture is the most pilfered, the most ‘borrowed,’ the most thieved culture, and we’ve seen this happen time and tie again.
Quote is from her essay Black Art Is Not A Free For All on Black Girl Dangerous. Read it all. Truly exquisite writing, especially as non-Black people continue to use, consume, pilfer, plagiarize and be appropriative of Black cultural production and art while simultaneously suggesting that Black culture, especially that Black American culture, does not exist.
I’ve also watched non-Black people suggest Black people contribute “nothing” to anti-oppression theory or praxis while their ENTIRE FRAMEWORK for approaching it is via Black cultural production or Black women’s epistemology.
Like…the cognitive dissonance proffered via perspectives shaped by anti-Blackness is astounding.
Can we please stop pretending it’s less important than all the other -isms?
i’ve gotten more crap for my autism than for being queer. more bullying, more shit talk, more exclusion, more dehumanizing — and WAY more trouble with employment and housing. ableism is a bigger problem than homophobia. surprising? that’s because people aren’t talking about it!
violence against disabled people is unbelievably common. i don’t want to start comparing it numerically with violence against women and racial minorities, because that might imply i don’t take the latter seriously. don’t get me wrong; those hate crimes are super awful and we need to make them stop. however i need to say this: my dash was 80% ferguson for at least a week after mike brown was shot, but i see at least a couple stories every month about autistics being murdered by their caregivers, by their schools, by police who interpereted a nonverbal shutdown as resistance, and these stories seldom get more than 100 notes.
please, folks, i know you care about people, i know you care about me, and i know you care about justice. please pay more attention to ableism. this is a huge civil rights issue.
i don’t mean the dumb sjw thing where people star out words like ‘crazy’ or call ‘ablesim’ on shit that is not ableism, btw. i definitely don’t mean the thing where my reclamatory usage of ‘sperglord’ and the like sets the whole parrot tree screeching. i mean stuff like sheltered workshops where it’s legal to pay disabled people less than a dollar an hour. i mean accessibility, i mean acceptance. i mean the thing where the discussion about autsim is led by a hate group that wants to eliminate our existence. i mean stop the violence.
In addition to the many autistic people who have been murdered by caregivers (and then, even scarier, the general public says that’s so sad, they might have done the same thing if they were that poor, overworked mother…), there is the pervasive problem of disabled people being discriminated against by the medical establishment.
Doctors routinely underestimate quality of life of disabled people and advise them—on the basis of inconvenience, not on the basis of any physical pain they might be feeling—to end their lives (see http://www.notdeadyet.org/ for an advocacy group devoted to protecting disabled people from coercive assisted suicide, such as doctors in some jurisdictions being allowed to suggest suicide without having to mention the existence of accommodations for a person’s conditions). In the US, in places where this is legal at all the doctor has to make a good-faith prediction that the person would die within six months anyway, but there are countries in Europe that are less restrictive in this regard, or that have no such restriction at all. (Belgium allows euthanasia even in non-terminal patients, and euthanasia—as opposed to assisted suicide—doesn’t even require the patient to be conscious or otherwise capable of giving consent as long as they have consented at some point in the past. Keep in mind that most people who want to attempt suicide change their mind at the slightest hindrance, intervention, or change in situation or mood—and that many people, upon becoming suddenly disabled, are briefly suicidal but almost all of them get over it after a month or two when they’ve had time to adjust—so if this sort of thing is to be even remotely ethical it has to involve consent at the moment before death.) Furthermore, there are tons of cases of families and friends pressuring disabled people into suicide. This can range from them saying they’d kill themselves if they were in the disabled person’s situation (despite there being several research studies saying that abled people, including doctors, vastly underestimate quality of life of disabled people, compared to what the disabled people themselves report feeling) to outright telling the disabled person they’re a burden.
The medical establishment also routinely obstructs treatment of disabled people. If a person is disabled they are unlikely to be able to get an organ transplant, for example—even if it’s for an unrelated condition—because they are considered low priority patients (see, e.g., http://www.cnn.com/2013/11/30/health/disabled-transplants/ especially the parts about studies of hospitals in general). And in some cases doctors will outright refuse even more basic medical care for disabled people, who then have to actually sue to get the life-saving care they need. The doctors base this, again, on their assessment of the disabled person’s quality of life, not on the disabled person’s own assessment.
I can’t add everything I’d want to say right now because I’m exhausted and stressed. But I deal with multiple oppressions on a regular basis, and it always amazes me that people who are otherwise committed to social justice always seem to rank ableism so low on the scale of Bad Things. Because ableism is the thing that keeps almost killing me. Not that other isms haven’t almost killed me, but ableism is the one that does so with the most consistency and forcefulness. And yet I’ve actually heard people say things like “Does ableism even really count?” and “Disabled people are just trying to jump on the oppression bandwagon and imitate people of color and act like they’re all oppressed and stuff, but they’re really not” and other things along those lines. Not to mention the thing where ableism is tacked on as an afterthought, and it’s always a list of words not to say. As if it’s the words that are trying to kill us.
I deal, regularly, with ableism, homophobia, transphobia, sizeism, classism, and sexism. And while all of these things can be literally deadly serious, somehow it’s ableism and classism that are the most dangerous to me on an ongoing basis. (And if I were a person of color I’m certain racism would be up there with them.) And that’s something I hear pretty consistently from people who face multiple oppressions, that even when ableism isn’t the worst, it’s always up there among the worst on a personal level for that person. I will never say that any particular oppression is always the worst for everyone, because that’s not how oppression works. Each person experiences oppression differently because of where we’re situated in society. But pretty consistently ableism, classism, and racism come up as the worst for an awful lot of people dealing with multiple oppressions, and yet somehow people who don’t actually have to face significant ableism, always forget ableism, or even belittle it.
I imagine there are disabled people who don’t face super-significant ableism, but when we do… it’s bad. Like really bad. Like I don’t know why I’m still alive, bad. I literally don’t know how I’ve survived the ableism that’s been thrown at me throughout my life, I’ve had so many opportunities to die of it and I have managed to live so far. But to some people, ableism is just a list of words not to say. And that astounds me.
For me, ableism is being told I shouldn’t get a feeding tube because it’d be better to die of aspiration pneumonia or starvation than it would be to eat through a plastic tube in my side. Ableism is having people not work as hard to save my life as they would a nondisabled cis person with money (and yes I think ableism, classism, and transphobia tend to meld together in my life at times, they’re not neatly separable… being poor and somewhat gender-ambiguous-looking and developmentally disabled meld together in people’s minds to make me into a thing, an unperson). Ableism is being so weak that I’m lying in my own shit while people argue about whether I should be “allowed” to shit the bed, because if you let a developmentally disabled person shit the bed they might not ever want to use a toilet again — while nobody worried at all about why I was suddenly shitting the bed after years of never ever doing so, and nobody thought maybe I belonged in the ICU, or anything like that. (My doctor today says I absolutely belonged in the ICU. Unfortunately he wasn’t on duty when this was happening.)
(Yes, I bring that story up a lot, because I still have trouble believing that in the middle of an adrenal and/or myasthenia crisis, while I was lying in the hospital with pneumonia and too weak to roll myself over in bed, they were most worried about whether I’d get used to not using toilets. Oh and also they were massively bothered by the sound of me throwing up continuously for hours, they really didn’t like it, so they evacuated my room and shut the door and stopped answering my call bell so they wouldn’t have to hear it. Or see me getting so weak from using those muscles over and over that I was starting to have trouble breathing. Luckily I had a visitor, a friend’s caregiver, who had been a patient in that hospital before, whose response to all that was to throw my door open every time they shut it, and scream at the top of her lungs, “If you kill her, I will have every lawyer in town in this place!” Suddenly I got transferred to another ward and got a lot better care. Unfortunately I don’t remember a lot of details because by that point I was severely delirious. All I remember was her yelling that — and then my body disintegrating and flying out the window, or something else that didn’t really happen. I heard the full story much later.)
For me, ableism is every day, life and death, without fail. It’s not some kind of afterthought tacked onto the “real” oppressions. And it’s not a list of words. I mean yes there are ableist words, but there are classist words too, and yet people seem to be fully capable of comprehending that classism isn’t just a list of slurs and quasi-slurs and not-even-slurs-at-all. They don’t seem capable of comprehending that about ableism so easily.
Another big thing that no one ever points out, we can’t fight back either.
Disabled people as a group are defined by inability to do something, usually something decently important for functioning. A lot of us have issues with movement so we can’t really march, we have issues communicating to it’s hard to spread our messages, we have a harder time handling stress so arguments can lead to making ourselves sick, we have issues with stamina so we wear ourselves down quick.
Generally on tumblr people you see most groups want allies out of their movement entirely, but even if the reasons why are obvious, we do not always have the luxury of speaking for ourselves. We need the help.
Then the allies who are speaking for disabled people a lot of the time are doctors, caregivers, parents etc. who often have selfish motivations that can be more harm than good for us, and when bad allies talk over us we often get drowned out.
Activism is very hard. Both physically and mentally and when you are already literally going in with a handicap it’s even harder. But I rarely see people outside the immediate bubble of being disabled or close to people who are give a fuck.
i can’t go on marches unless they’re really really short. not everyone with mobility issues is “wheelchair-bound”. btw can we start saying “wheelchair user” instead? being paralyzed isn’t the only reason folks use one. sometimes standing/walking just hurts like hell.
i can’t go to rallies unless i clear my schedule for a week or two afterwards to do nothing but hide from the world until the autistic overload/shutdown goes away, and all i can do at those rallies is be a warm body pretty much. sensory processing issues are a bitch.
so for myself, i want to say: YES PLEASE ALLIES YES. don’t speak over us, don’t decide for us. but listen to our voices and amplify them. heed our decisions and help us enforce them. DISABILITY RIGHTS ALLIES, I LOVE YOU.
“No matter whether one is flying over Newfoundland or the sea of lights that stretches from Boston to Philadelphia after nightfall, over the Arabian deserts which gleam like mother-of-pearl, over the Ruhr or the city of Frankfurt, it is as though there were no people, only the things they have made and in which they are hiding.”—W. G. Sebald, The Rings of Saturn
“In Italy, there is a tradition called ‘sciopero bianco’—the white strike. In English-speaking countries, it is known as work-to-rule. Workers who are not permitted to strike fight their bosses by doing only what is required of them—to the letter. Nurses refuse to answer phones that ring at 17:01. Transport workers make safety checks so rigid that the trains run hours behind schedule. Eating disorders and other forms of dangerous self-harm are to riots in the streets what a white strike is to a factory occupation: women, precarious workers, young people and others for whom the lassitudes of modern life routinely produce acute distress and for whom the stakes of social non-conformity are high, lash out by doing only what is required of them, to the point of extremity. Work hard, eat less, consume frantically; be thin and perfect and good, conform and comply, push yourself to the point of collapse. … We all followed the rules, sufferers seem to be saying—now look what you made us do.”
Penny understands eating disorders as a form of rebellion because she’s been there, and not because she was quite literally dying to be thin. Her clear-minded thinking that cuts to the quick allowed her to regard her time in treatment as instructive in the politicization that now characterizes much of her work. And it’s important to understand that the rebellion of eating disorders is not in refusing to eat, but in its angry nod to the good girl. You want me to be a good girl? Fine, I’ll be a goddamn perfect girl. Fuck you, I’ll disappear, how’s that? It’s a warped logic, sure, but eating disorders are warped. It’s logic all the same.